WHAT A BABY NEEDS TO BE A COMPLETE AND COMPETENT INDIVIDUAL
- but you probably didn’t get ... To be held constantly(at first, later when he asks) To be fed at anytime To be trusted to know what is right for himself To be listened to To be given what he needs To be accepted just the way he is To have the rules explained in a way that he understands when he is ready To be a part of everyday life which goes on around him To be told the truth To be respected as a whole person; complete, just small
It was tough to follow my instinct when those around me felt it was peculiar to want to carry my baby with me, but I felt it was the right thing to do and I know many women who reluctantly ignored their instincts and followed the advice of others about the rearing of their own babies and have regretted it.
The effort involved in the caring for a young baby is often seen as an unrewarding and thankless task. People have asked me about how tiring it is to carry a bonny baby consistently; it is a joy and such a lovely thing to do; I recommend it. I used to have back trouble years ago and realised how wanting to do this influenced my body. I realised after carrying each of my children on my back for several years (for some part of the day) that I had never had trouble carrying a warm, snuggly, heavy weight on my back.
Women have said they tried it but found the baby too heavy - their expectation that it will be tiring? (See “The Continuum Concept” for ideas on the attitudes we have to the carrying of burdens) It takes persistence, a well-designed carrier and experimentation. I found the use of it on the back is so much easier. I feel sad that we are not prepared well so that it is not so hard to care for our own children - women would love to enjoy it, men too.