“IN EVERY LIFE YOU HAVE SOME TROUBLE; WHEN YOU WORRY YOU MAKE IT DOUBLE … DON’T WORRY, BE HAPPY” - Bobby McFerrin
I have been investigating the source of fear because I have come to the conclusion that it is a made-up experience without a useful function. It appears to me that it originates from the time that we discovered that our mother was afraid and unable to be there for us. There are useful states of caution, wariness, hesitation but the problem with fear is that it blots out our rationality and paralyses us. I remember a discussion with my mother about teaching my daughter respect and caution for the traffic on the busy main road where we lived. I explained how it had taken me years to be confident about making a sensible decision to cross because I was afraid of the danger I felt I was in, and how it caused panic - which was not at all helpful in the position I was in - trying to safely cross the road. My mother said she should be frightened to make her more careful - I disagree with the fear element. And it is interesting that I am less afraid than my mother and my daughter is less afraid than I. It makes her more careful, because she can see the danger objectively, and gives her the ability to know her capabilities. It is also an advantage to have children whom I know can judge what they are capable of for themselves. My belief is that a baby expects its mother to be powerful and knowledgeable and to feel safe in the world. This is rare in our society; and especially rare at the time of childbirth.