My unreasonable view of the world

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Being gentle with myself

I notice that I goad myself a lot, trying to go faster on my bike, trying to keep up with people. I know why I do it, I had older siblings that I was always trying to keep up with, and failing. I felt that I had to prove that I was ok. I don’t enjoy it at all. I’d like to stop doing it, and be happy and comfortable going at my own pace. When I don’t goad myself, I get faster because I practise. I massage my legs so that they will recover more quickly. I have been getting stronger, I notice that I can go up hills in lower gears sometimes, though not always. But the main reason for wanting to be gentler with myself is so that I can be more open with others, more present, more accepting of love and more vulnerable, so that I am capable of deeper understanding.



14th October 2016

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